Learning to Listen

My name is Neal Graves. I am a settler of mixed European descent, with French and Irish ancestry on my mother's side and Scottish and German ancestry on my father's side. I was born and raised in the territories of the K’OMOKS Nation and now live and work as an uninvited guest on the territories of the W̱SÁNEĆ and lək̓ʷəŋən peoples.

As someone who has focused the majority of my professional and educational career on environmental conservation, I have come to recognize that this field often perpetuates settler-colonial violence toward Indigenous peoples. Many Western conservation policies have directly resulted in the displacement and marginalization of Indigenous communities.

Through this course and project, I hope to learn how to practice consensual allyship with the nations and territories I occupy, explore pathways for decolonizing environmentalism, and foster more equitable, collaborative approaches that honor Indigenous knowledge systems and sovereignty.

This intervention work was primarily situated along the shoreline of the W̱SÁNEĆ and lək̓ʷəŋən territories. I had the great privilege of learning and working at Maple Bank on the Songhees reserve and on the Tseycum reserve, both at the invitation of members of the respective nations.

Over the past year, I have been a research participant, or “witness,” in an interdisciplinary, community-based PhD project at UVic called "Learning to Listen". The project explores "place-based relationships and how settlers who form relationships with the land under Indigenous guidance can better support Indigenous resurgence, sovereignty, and wellbeing in ways that matter to Indigenous communities". Essentially, we believe that experiencing life in a relational manner will allow us to better support and honour Indigenous Resurgence without repeating & (re)producing colonial violence.

Given that the project seeks to explore how SETTLERS might support Indigenous resurgence under Indigenous leadership, the participants are settlers of predominantly European descent. The group consists of five settlers of varying ages and academic backgrounds, including UVic undergraduates, graduates, and professors. Despite their diverse backgrounds, all participants share a mutual commitment to supporting Indigenous resurgence and self-determination across Turtle Island.

My learning in this project has been facilitated by our "Project Keeper" and PhD candidate Kikila Perrin (he/they), with guidance from UVIC supervisors and local W̱SÁNEĆ community member Sarah Jim (she/her).

A key focus of this project is examining how our relationships shift through participation in local Indigenous-led ecosystem restoration initiatives, including the WSÁNEĆ W̱SÍḴEM Ivy Project and the lək̓ʷəŋən Community Toolshed. Participants are invited to reflect on their experiences at these events and share them during our seasonal group circles, honoring local protocols that have been shared with us. Additionally, participants are encouraged to actively engage in daily gratitude practices as part of this project.

Over the past year, group members were invited to participate in Indigenous-led restoration events. These events encourage settlers to help remove invasive species while learning about Indigenous plants, traditions, and stories. Sarah Jim explains that invasive species are a consequence of settler colonialism, and their removal becomes a physical act of decolonizing the land (Jim, 2020). Furthermore, Leanne Simpson asserts that those who resist dispossession are those who actively “put their bodies on the land” (Simpson, 2014).

Participation in Indigenous-led restoration events exemplifies consensual allyship, as we first listened to the needs of the nations through the WIP and lək̓ʷəŋən Community Toolshed's callouts for community volunteers, without assuming any role or authority. We ensured that our presence on these territories was welcomed by seeking permission to enter—or, as some say, to “come ashore.” In this process, I believe it is important to do only what is asked of you.

Over the past year, group members met each season to reflect collectively on the time spent on the land supporting Indigenous projects. These circles provided an opportunity to discuss any challenges faced in the process of unlearning. Each circle often included an activity that explored how we experience relationality in our lives (e.g., a relationality map or timeline).

Sitting in a circle is a way to actively participate in Coast Salish protocol. Although no Coast Salish people were present during these circles, I have learned from Sarah Rhude that the land still holds a relationship with the people and their traditions. As Dianne Sam stated, when we respect the Lekwungen protocols and place names, the ancestors hear it and appreciate it.

As part of these protocols, each circle included an introduction and arrival check-in. Bringing in your ancestors, acknowledging how you are arriving, and sharing who you are helps honor protocol and begins the circle in a less hierarchical way for everyone. As taught by Sarah Hunt, relational work is integral to building consensual allyship, so establishing these connections and community was crucial to the project.

The focus of this circle was to “arrive” into the community and “depart” from typical settler ways of gathering. Participants introduced themselves, planting the seeds for relationships. This circle also introduced foundational concepts, like relationality and consent, and provided the groundwork for the project’s deeper work.

This circle deepened relationship building and shifted towards exploring our connection with the land. The group engaged in mapping activities to reflect on shared interests, ideas, and experiences of space. The intention was to understand territory and build shared knowledge, which would later inform the overall dissertation (see map below)

The third circle revisited the map, offering participants a chance to react and reflect on it. The facilitator discussed the map, and gratitude practices were introduced. This circle focused on reconnecting, sharing space, and reinforcing the community, with less focus on tasks and more on shared experience.

This circle introduced “relationality timelines” to track connections outside ourselves (see picture above). It reflected on how the group had evolved over the year, revisiting the location of the first circle. This circle emphasized open sharing and created a safe space to reflect on struggles and connections, fostering a deeper sense of community.

Participants were asked to reflect on their daily gratitudes. This gratitude practice, inspired by both Indigenous thought and settler allyship, emphasizes the importance of cultivating grounded, land-connected practices to move beyond theory into embodied action. Authors like James Rowe and Indigenous scholars (e.g., Leanne Simpson, John Borrows, Jeff Corntassel) highlight how gratitude and "grounded normativity" can foster creativity, connection, and decolonization. By practicing gratitude regularly, individuals align with Indigenous resurgence efforts, deepen their relational accountability, and create a shared, positive foundation for consensual allyship.

While the physical act of working on the land was both healing and deeply connecting for me, I found that the greatest growth and shifts in my worldview came from simply listening to my teachers and the stories they shared. These moments of listening allowed me to step back from the urge to act and instead focus on understanding the deeper connections between people, land, and traditions.

Through this process, I found it much easier to embody relationality and allyship in group settings, such as our meeting circles and community events. However, I struggled with the practice of daily decolonial embodiments,like maintaining a consistent daily gratitude practice.

I often struggled to discern whether certain actions were respecting or appropriating Coast Salish protocols. To navigate this uncertainty, I realized that it required clear and honest communication with the group, even when those conversations felt uncomfortable or confrontational.

I would like to respectfully acknowledge the privilege I have to live and learn on the unceded territories of the W̱SÁNEĆ and lək̓ʷəŋən nations. I also want to acknowledge and thank the wonderful community of people I have met throughout this project. Thank you Karissa Chandrakate for providing all the photos.

Christie-Peters, Q. (2020, December 3). Body: an acknowledgement – Canadian art. Canadian Art.  https://canadianart.ca/features/body-an-acknowledgement/ 

Coulthard, G., & Simpson, L. B. (2016). Grounded Normativity/Place-Based Solidarity. American Quarterly, 68(2), 249-255.

Corntassel, J. (2023). An Interview with Tiffany Joseph: Land and Water Stewardship in a Time of Crisis. Borders in Globalization Review. 5 (1): 28–34  https://doi.org/10.18357/bigr51202421803 

Hunt, S., & Holmes, C. (2015). Everyday decolonization: Living a decolonizing queer politics. Journal of lesbian studies, 19(2), 154-172. 

Hunt, S. (2013, July 12). Speaking For, Speaking Beside: thoughts about consensual allyship. The Becoming Collective.  https://becomingcollective.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/speaking-for-speaking-beside-thoughts-about-consensual-allyship/  

Jim, S. (2020). SṈIDȻEȽ [Video]. On Line on Land Series by Open Space Galley.  https://vimeo.com/407479529 

Maynard, R., & Simpson, L. B. (2022). Rehearsals for Living. Chicago, Illinois: Haymarket Books. Read Pages 7-99. Pages 103-199. (Available as course reserve).

Perrin. (2023). Learning to Listen: Cedar, (Re)Stories, & Circles of Relations.  https://onlineacademiccommunity.uvic.ca/learningtolisten/  

Sarah Rhude. (2022) Round Two: Hay’swx’qa Tikweneñ- A Healing Song: Methodology. (TBD).

Sarah Hunt. (2014). Ontologies of Indigeneity: the politics of embodying a concept. Cultural Geographies 21 (1), 27-32. (PDF Below).

Tuck, E., & Wayne Yang, K. (2012). Decolonization is not a metaphor. Decolonization: Indigeneity,Education & Society, 1(1), 1–40.  https://clas.osu.edu/sites/clas.osu.edu/files/Tuck%20and%20Yang%202012%20Decolonization%20is%20not%20a%20metaphor.pdf  

W̱SÍ ̧EM IVY Project. (n.d.). W̱S͸ḴEM Ivy Project.  https://www.wsikemivyproject.com/