How the Bosnian War Shaped People's Lives

(TCU) - Aleksandar Hemon has written an outstanding memoir about his life growing up in Bosnia and later in Chicago, USA after being displaced due to the war against the Serbs. He tells a story of love, loss, pain, and joy by sharing the many life-altering events that have shaped his character. I was compelled by his writing when he mentions having joined the military at a young age. He started the book off with such a heart-breaking story of him trying to choke his newborn sister because he is jealous, she is getting all the attention. He also mentions being in gang affiliations at a young age in social groups that were called rajas who were very territorial and had drama with any other raja that didn’t show respect whenever they came around. He later explains the story of losing his 10-month-old daughter due to a brain tumor. "But how can you possibly ease yourself into the death of your child? For one thing, it is supposed to happen well after your own dissolution into nothingness. Your children are supposed to outlive you by several decades, in the course of which they'll live their lives, happily devoid of the burden of your presence, eventually completing the same mortal trajectory as their parents: oblivion, denial, fear, the end" (Hemon, 160). I reflected on what this man has experienced and see resemblances in my life when my dad lost his first-born son. Although significantly older than Aleks Hemon’s 10-month-old daughter, my brother George was in his mid to late 20’s when he passed away from a drug overdose. In times like this when someone has lost a close relative of theirs, all one can do is listen with an open heart, embrace their experience empathically, and let them hopefully confide in your hopeful, wisdom. I remember listening to my father coping with what happened to my late older brother, George. He seemed in a sense guilty, as if he could have done more. It was that realization of reality in Hemon’s writing that made me think about all the tough things people go through. No matter how bad you have it, someone has it worse. Hemon wants these stories to be told because these are the most heartfelt, compelling stories of his life. He does a great way of keeping a gleaming light of faith the entire memoir as he is describing his 'Hell on Earth' experience. I can also relate to Aleksander Hemon as my aunt was in the Pentagon during the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

That day a traumatizing event was imprinted on my mind forever as us children in our third-grade elementary school class were frightened by the images and videos being shown on the news channel. Parents were told to come pick their students up from school early. I have felt but a portion of the terror stricken in his homeland in Bosnia during a war. Hemon went to a bar in his hometown after quitting his journal editing job to describe the scene of everyone watching the news, "I watched glassy-eyed people stare into the terrible distance, barely talking to one another, some of them drugged to the brim, some of them naturally paralyzed, all of them terrified with what was now undeniable: it was all over. The war had arrived and now we were all waiting to see who would live, who would kill, and who would die" (Hemon, 55).

Hemon had shells, bombs and missiles being fired off left and right within feet of where he was living. I have never been hunted by an opposing military, displaced from my homeland, and forced to live in another unfamiliar country. I don’t have anyone in my family that has had their father taken in by opposing military to be tortured and beaten to give confidential information. Aleks’ friend Veba had to experience this and put his own life at risk for the love of his father to give him a chance of freedom from a dreadful silo. It was at this point in the memoir I felt most disconnected until the author mentioned more situations that I could reflect upon.

He mentions at one point that he had a dog named Mek. Mek was this dog that they got during the war and by luck was able to bring along to Chicago, USA. The dog had gotten gravely sick at one point with a virus which was cured at the last second with a vaccine of antibiotics. I think Aleks Hemon mentions running home through the fields with bullets whizzing overhead so that he could be with Mek and hold him in what would have been the dog's last moments. Everyone loved that dog and considered them a hero dog. I think of my Pit Bull, 'Peanut Butter’, when reading these pages. One can only reflect on all the times spent putting oneself at risk trying to protect him from other hostile dogs in a dog park. I remember one time we were at the dog park and a Jack Russell puppy began ripping at ‘Peanut Butter’s’ leg which his sharp teeth. It was at that moment, I swooped ‘Peanut Butter’ up like a human baby and proceeding to shoo the Jack Russell away with my foot.

Another instance in which Aleksandar Hemon touched my childhood memories is when he mentioned buying a stuffed alien for his older daughter during the time his 10-month-old baby was in the hospital. The older daughter was imagining the stuffed animal as her newfound friend in which she would talk to and be acquainted with. She and that stuffed alien became best friends through those tough times.  I reflected on this part of the book because my father gave me a stuffed wolf when I was a little boy in which I would do the same thing when I had any alone time from my mom and sister staring at me all day. Wolves apparently have been running in my family for generations, like a kind of spirit animal. This emphasis on the stuffed alien, being on the cover of the book, shows an important significance to the meaning of life. This stuffed animal is like my stuffed wolf, symbolizing love and loneliness during hard times. Aleksandar Hemon’s “The Book of My Lives”, is a series of his trials throughout life that humbly bring us into perspective to the violence others are facing in war-stricken countries. We must hone the skill to imagine ourselves in these situations and reconsider what we would have done differently. Aleksandar Hemon has given us the opportunity to empathize with other countries, going through similar challenges.